The One Person I Can't Forgive

Forgiveness comes fairly easy for me. I have had some tremendous hurts done to me over the years and in almost all of the circumstances have found it in my heart to forgive and move on. But, of all the people that have hurt me the most, the one that I'm the closest to, I can't seem to forgive. I really don't see this person much. In fact I only see him a few times a day. But he is always present; ready to stick his nose in when it doesn't belong.

This person has a habit of kicking me when I am already down. He continually reminds me of all the times I have failed, of all the times I have screwed up. He tells me what a horrible job I am doing with my kids. He is quick to point out all of my faults when I am dealing with my wife. He lets me know what a disrespectful child I was to my mom. He even likes to tell me what I failure I am professionally.

I try not to listen to him. I try not to let him have the run of the conversation, but he always seems to win. I have asked Jesus what he thinks of the situation and why I can't seem to forgive him. But when Jesus starts talking, I can barely hear him. The person I can't forgive starts screaming at me, telling me that I could never be good enough to have a conversation with the savior.

So today, I stand face to face with this man; the man in the mirror. I forgive him for all of the hurtful things he has said to me. I forgive him for feeding me lies. I forgive him for intruding on my peace. I forgive him for leading me astray. From this day forward I declare freedom from this man. I declare freedom from myself.

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In Defense of Halloween

It's that time of year again. The time of year when most people come out of their shells just a little bit and have some fun. For children they get to dress up as their favorite superhero or TV character and run around the neighborhood collecting candy from strangers. For adults, we get to dress up ( and loosen up) and be somebody we wish were more like for few hours at least. There are parties, decorations, pumpkins, cookies, and of course lots and lots of candy. But for some this day is a day not to engage the world, but to hide from it. To turn off their lights and sink into a corner and hope the devil doesn't get them.

Halloween is an interesting time for Christians. We really don't know how we are supposed to relate to this holiday that has its origins in pagan fertility rituals. Some think that because of its origins, they should not participate at all. Some Christians will go on the defensive and put signs up on their front door that state they "refuse to participate in the devils holiday". Others will open their doors to the little ghouls and goblins that come a knockin, but instead of putting a tasty treat inside their bag, they put some sort of track proclaiming the "Good News".

If churches do decide to engage the culture with a "celebration", they can't seem to bring themselves to have a "Halloween" party. No, instead they have a "Harvest Festival". And of course instead of just opening their doors and letting people come in and enjoy themselves, they have to "bible story" everything. "Make sure you wear your bible story costume! Our games are going to have salvation themes and bible story themes. If the kids win at the games, we'll give them some candy and a track explaining the gospel message." Christians want to make sure they are a "light in the darkness" on such a "worldly" night.

When I was a kid, Halloween was one of my favorite holidays. I dressed up as vampires, goblins, ninjas, and other various characters. I ran door to door collecting all the tooth decaying fare I could get. I never thought about all of the supposed "spiritual warfare" that was going on around me. I never thought of this being the worst, most evil holiday of the year. Since I did not grow up in the church, that kind of stuff never entered my mind. However, after I became a Christian, I began to realize that this kind of thought process existed. Now for a while, I was a good fundamentalist and did the same things that the others did. But then, I began to think that this was not the best way to engage the culture on this particular evening.

I began to have a few revelations:

• The devil has been defeated and does not control any holiday....ever. He is not in control. He does not go around trick-or-treating.



• Almost all holidays have roots in paganism. Christmas and Easter are just as pagan, if not more so, as Halloween.



• Harvest, Halloween, Fall festival...its all semantics....It's like drinking a mock cocktail at a fake speakeasy(inside joke). Or Christian swear words-we all know what you really mean so why don't you just say it.



• Do we have to spiritualize everything? Why not just invite the community over and have some fun. Meet some people. Start some relationships. If you want to dress up as a ninja, great! It doesn't even have to be a Christian ninja.



• All my tracks I hand out end up in the garbage first thing. So why not just give them candy and say a silent prayer for them instead. This not only gives me a chance to meet people in my neighborhood, it also keeps my house from getting toilet papered...

I like Halloween. I like to dress up. I like the pumpkins, candy and yes the skeletons and ghouls. I will not burn in hell for it. I am not opening myself up to "spiritual attack". My Jesus has freed me from this kind of frivolous nonsense. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to get my costume on and have some fun this Halloween night.

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Wow Time Slips By

Life has been in 5th gear lately. I have started my new job with the post office, and have spent the better part of two weeks training between Pocatello and Rigby. If I wasn't training, I was lying in bed sicker than a dog. Actually, most of the time I was in training was spent being sick. It is really hard to concentrate on a speaker when you are running a temperature of 103.

I do plan on continuing my series on American Presidents, and I have some other subjects that I have been wanting to write about. But for now, I have to wait until things slow down a bit and get into some sort of routine. Thanks for reading my blog, and remember leave me a comment and let me know how you think I'm doing.

Blessings!

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Abi's Bed Frame...Maybe

Alright, so I received this bed frame from a friend over a year ago. And I said to myself, "Self, you will work on this bed frame as soon as you get the garage cleaned." Well, the garage is not cleaned. But I figured if I continue to wait until that actually happens to work on this bed frame, it might actually get done around the time Abi is expecting her first child.

So this is my official project to be completed before Christmas. I really don't know what I am doing, so any suggestions would be nice.

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American Presidents: Thomas Jefferson

There is a plethora of information concerning Thomas Jefferson. He was not a simple man, nor one that can be figured out in one blog post. In certain things, he seemed to contradict himself (e.g. his beliefs of slavery and equality). He lived a very rich life, and was schooled in many things. There is no denying is effect on the birth of this great nation and his continued influence of how America should work.

• Born on April 13, 1743; He was the third of eight children. His family was very well educated and Thomas studied Latin, Greek, and French before he was nine years old. (on a very personal and subjective note-we are so worried about the "developement of our youth" these days that this would more than likely be considered abuse.")



• Jefferson's dad died when he was fourteen. He inherited 5000 acres he called Monticello.



• He was interested and schooled in philosophy, mathematics, and metaphysics.



• After graduating from William and Mary College, he worked as a lawyer in Colonial Virginia.



• Monticello was a source of great pride and great stress for Jefferson. He designed his house and filled it with his own inventions. It was the first home to have an automatic door and a swivel chair designed by Jefferson himself. It took more than 40 years to build the mansion and left him deeply in debt by the time he died. After Jefferson's death his possessions were auctioned off and the house was sold to James T. Barclay for $7000 (about $140,000 in todays money). Barclay tried to grow silkworms on the plantation but failed. He put the house for sale two years later. Uriah P. Levy bought the house in 1834 and upon his death bequeathed the house to the government as long as certain conditions were met. During the Civil War, the Confederacy seized the property and sold it. After the war, the government refused the terms of Levy. After years of litigation, Jefferson Monroe Levy retain rights to the property in 1879. In 1923 he sold Monticello to the Thomas Jefferson foundation who maintains the rights this day.



• Because of the trememdous labor needed for his estate and the debt it caused, Jefferson had over 600 slaves during the course of his life. Compared to other slave owners, he did treat his slaves with a certain amount of respect and dignity.



• When it comes to a discussion of slavery, Jefferson seems to be contradictory in both his actions and his words.

Jefferson,, during the course of his life felt strongly in "certain unalienable rights" that all men had. He fought vigorously to end the slave trade, which he did during his presidency. Although he owned over 600 slaves, there is evidence to suggest that this caused him consternation. He would have liked to free his slaves, but since he found himself in a state of financial indebtednous, was never able to.

It is rumoured (and most evidence substantiates the claim) that Jefferson had an affair his, slave Sally Hemings, after his wife died. She is said to have had several his children. Jefferson is said to have publicy stated that the concept of whites and blacks having relations was wrong. Consider the following quote regarding his ideas interracial marriages:
"The amalgamation of whites and blacks produces a degredation to which no lover of his country, no lover of excellence in the human character can innocently concent."

• After the British Parliament passed the "Coercive Acts" Jefferson wrote "A Summary View of the Rights of British America. In it, he argued that the Colonies had the natural right to govern themselves. This article proved to be the framework for Amerca arguing its independence form Great Britian.



• 1776-selected to write the first draft of the Declaration of Independence. After omitting over a quarter of the original draft, the Congress of approved.



• 1776-Elected to the Virginia House of Delegates. While there he drafted 126 bills in 3 years. Including bills that established freedom of religion, eliminating primogeniture, and eliminating capital punishment.



• 1779-1781-Governor of Virginia. During this time Virginia was invaded twice. Once by Benedict Arnold, and once by General Charles Conrwallis. Jefferson, dissappointed with the reforms at his alma mater William and Mary College, created the University of Virginia.



• 1783-Elected to the Congress of the Confederation by the state of Virginia.



• 1790-93 Served as Secratary of State under George Washington. It was at this point that he began arguing with Alexander Hamilton over fiscal policy. Hamilton believed that the states should share the cost of war (Revolution) equally. Jefferson believed that each state should be responsible for their own debt. He was an outspoken opponent to Federalism. During this time Jefferson, and James Madison created the Democratic-Republican Party. Interestingly enough, this was the forrunner to the modern day Democratic party, even though one would be hard pressed to find much correlation between the two (strictly my opinion).



• 1796-lost to John Adams for the presidency, but had enough electoral votes to become his vice-president. It was during this time frame that Jefferson began his fued with Adams. During the Quasi-War, Adams built up a strong military force, created new taxes, and enacted the Aliens and Seditions Act of 1798. Jefferson took offense to the act and said it was a direct attack against him and his party. Jefferson along with James Madison countered the act by anonymously writing the Kentucky and Virginia Resolutions which argued for states rights.



• 1801-1809-Elected as third president of the United States. Jefferson actually tied with Aaron Burr in the electoral college and the election was left in the hands of the House of Representatives. The House was heavily controlled by Federalists with Alexander Hamilton being at the forefront. Hamilton argued that Jefferson would be the lessor of the two evils towards the Federalists, and after a lengthy debate, the presidency was given to Jefferson. Jefferson became critical of Burr after his refusal to remove himself rom consideration and dropped him from the ticket in his second term. Burr's duel with Hamilton was the final straw.

Still, Jefferson's election was controversial. His critics pointed out that the majority of his electoral votes came from southern states. The South had "inflated" electoral votes because of the slave holdings which meant that most of his votes came from people who were denied the right to vote. He was called by some the "Negro President".

• Repealed many of the taxes that had been put into place.



• Freed people who had been imprisoned by the Aliens and Sedition Act.



• Began and won the First Barbary War



• Created the United States Military Academy at Westpoint in 1802.



• Made the Louisiana Purchase from France, which grew the United States territory by almost 25%.



• Ordered Aaron Burr tried for treason



• In another apparent contradiction to his beliefs, signed a law prohibiting blacks from carrying U.S. Mail.



• In his second term, signed into law a bill that making slave importation illegal.

Thomas Jefferson died at his residence on July 4th 1826, just a few hours earlier than John Adams. Jefferson was an intelligent, complicated man. This blog cannot do justice to someone that has had such an impact on this nation. I encourage everyone to do thier own research of our founding fathers. Thanks for reading! Again I encourage you to leave a comment!

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Microsoft confirms phishing attack on Hotmail | The Money Times

This is pretty scary for those who have an msn or hotmail account. All of you who have Qwest MSN, this could affect you to.

Microsoft confirms phishing attack on Hotmail | The Money Times

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Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Seven years ago today, my beautiful wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Although there was some complications in her delivery, she was actually one of the easiest births my wife had with the fewest complications. We tried to have her naturally, but after the emergency c-section that had to be done for Brayden, it wasn't working quite right. It seems as if the placenta was connected at the wrong place and every time Kimberly went into contractions, Abigail's heart rate dropped to dangerously low levels.

But, she is a perfectly healthy little girl. And how she has become such a girly girl is beyond me. She has three obnoxious brothers who pick on her and rough house with her every chance they get. But somehow, she has managed to cling on to everything girly.

Until she was six, she absolutely refused to wear a pair of pants. She used to say that she wasn't pretty unless she was wearing a dress. In fact, if Mom was wearing pants, she would tell her that she wasn't pretty today. Now, of course we told her over and over that what you look like and how you dress was not how to judge if someone was pretty or not. But to a four year old mind, that concept made absolutely no sense.

She has matured past that age, and become a young girl of incredible grace and beauty. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, but she is truly a remarkable person on the inside. I don't think she even has the knowledge of how to treat others badly. Barring occasional spats with her siblings, she is always quick to point out her friends and what they mean to her.

As she grows older, my prayer for her is to become totally submersed in the Father's love for her. I pray that God continues to build the confidence that is already growing in her. Confidence in her abilities, confidence in who she is. Confidence in her knowledge of the love that her savior has for her.

Abi, I love you Baby Girl.

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